Living in today’s world, death seems inescapable. Many have even accepted it for themselves and look forward to approaching that day at a future time.
However, many have not accepted it for their loved ones. When a death occurs, it can feel like nothing makes sense and that the world is unfair.
If you are a follower of this blog or my music, you know that I don’t believe in death in the way that many others do.
The intent of this article is not to change your beliefs regarding death. That’s what There Is No Death, No Pain, and No Evil is for.
This article is to show how you can be alright at this moment when the thoughts of loss seem too great.
There may be some things in this article that seem to strike a nerve, but continue to read it in its entirety. This will help you.
Let’s get into the 5 ways to easily get over the death of a loved one.
1. It’s All About You
This is going to come as a shocker, but know that I am saying this with love.
When someone dies, it’s not about you.
That person supposedly lost their life, but you didn’t lose anything.
So if you’re going to feel sad, don’t feel sad for yourself. You’re still here and get to live it up.
Instead, feel sad that they won’t get to live it up, which has nothing to do with you. And then, remember that you don’t need to feel sad at all.
I’m not suggesting that you hold back your feelings. Let them out in a huge cry if you need to.
But then celebrate and honor your memory of them by feeling good that you crossed paths and that the best parts of them are with you always.
2. A Loved One’s Purpose
There is a belief that people exist in this world only for your will. I know, it’s a hidden belief. 🙄
You lay claim to these people through your words, i.e. your friends, your family, your this, your that, etc.
Within this belief, you think you know what’s best for them all. You know their highest capabilities and even their incapabilities.
Additionally, you know that whenever you call them, it’s best for them to fulfill your request. That request could be to entertain you, make you feel better, be good company, whatever.
But do you really know this? Do you even know that you think you know this?
Everything and everyone that exists has a purpose or else they would not be here.
In terms of items, when you no longer have a purpose for one, you either throw it away or give it away to be repurposed.
Many of us still don’t even know our own purpose, let alone the purpose of another.
What does this mean?
When you perceive a person’s death, you don’t know if their purpose was fulfilled or not.
You also don’t know if the circumstances surrounding their death were a manifestation of their commonly repeated thoughts.
The person may have gotten exactly what he or she wanted out of life and was ready to transition to something else.
Again, you don’t know.
There’s no sense in being mad or sad over something that you don’t know.
Furthermore, for those that believe in God, as I do. Do you really believe that God’s Will could not be done? Trust It. Trust Him.
He knows what’s best for you and He wants to give it to you. But it’s hard to receive something when you’re denying it.
3. Closing Off Yourself From New Experiences
When you’re a kid, everything is exciting because it’s all-new.
Everything is also exciting because it stays new.
No moment is like the previous one nor do you try to make it that way.
But as you get older, you try to recreate past moments that you felt were great. You deny this moment in favor of one that already happened.
You no longer trust that exciting experiences will be brought to you so you invest in what could never be, the past.
When you live in the past, you try to hold on to everything and everyone exactly as they were in that moment.
Yet you know as well as anyone that people’s thoughts, feelings, and bodies change every second of the day.
This means that by holding on, you are essentially setting yourself up to remain disappointed at all times.
It’s almost like your thoughts of choice are, “I want what I could never again have because I know everything about the world including that everything else would suck in comparison.”
If your thoughts, feelings, and body is changing all the time, that means that what you would enjoy changes all the time as well. God and the universe are always wanting to give to you that which you would enjoy.
But by holding onto one tiny moment that happened infinity moments ago, you are choosing littleness instead of abundance.
In doing this, the only thing that can make you happy is that which could never be.
Let go of the past so that you can experience all that the present has to offer in its glory.
This is not to say to forget about your loved one. This is to say to live now for you both.
4. Communicating with Your Loved One
The loved one is still with you now. Who you are is a combination of yourself and their influences over you. So literally, you are no longer just yourself.
In addition to that, you can actually communicate with your loved ones now as if they are here because, in reality, they are.
Here’s how.
Sit in a comfortable position. Relax completely being fully grounded in the present. Feel your toes touch the floor or your shoes. Let go of any past thoughts or experiences. Make only this moment your focus.
Close your eyes and think of the love shared between you and your loved one. Now say what you would say to them either out loud or to yourself.
Listen to what you receive back from them. It may not be heard with the body’s ears, but it’s definitely felt.
You can do this any time of any day for any length of time. So have at it. Enjoy a full dialogue.
A quote from one of my favorite books A Course In Miracles (ACIM) perfectly sums up why you are able to do this.
“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.“
And in case you want a bible quote, check out Luke 20:38.
“He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to Him all are alive.“
5. Holding Onto Form Weakens You
As I mentioned above, you are choosing littleness instead of abundance.
You already accept that your thoughts, beliefs, and body are endlessly changing. And throughout all of these changes, you’ve still always been you.
So what version of your loved one are you trying to hold? And why would you want them to be stuck in a changeless form for your benefit?
There are so many people in your physical awareness right now that would love for you to enjoy them.
But it’s impossible to experience both loss and abundance. Each denies the other and so only one can be true.
If loss was real, then you would be happy to receive it. However, since abundance is real, even the illusion of loss can be.
To believe that your loved ones are only a body is to believe that you are an insignificant speck incapable of anything real.
This is not true. You are the light of the world. Your rays extend beyond any and everything ever-flowing for eternity.
In Conclusion
In conclusion, your loved ones didn’t die. Only your perception of who they were, died.
Let go of this perception so that you can LIVE with them always.
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This article first appeared on the JClay blog at https://jclay.org/coping-with-death/.
